


5 Times an Avenger met Penny Parker-Stark

by ExtraEdgyOtter



Series: To Be a Stark verse [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: "oh yes strange earth child. this makes perfect sense" is basically his attitude, 5+1 Things, Adopted Peter, Adopted Peter Parker, Aunt Natasha Romanov, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Awesome Peter Parker, Awkward Bruce Banner, Ballet Dancer Peter Parker, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, But they will be!! Just not in this fic, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Fanboy Peter Parker, Fangirl Darcy Lewis, Female Peter Parker, Genderswap, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Iron Man 2, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Kid Peter Parker, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Iron Man 2 Compliant, Oblivious Thor (Marvel), POV Outsider, Parent Tony Stark, Penny Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Peter Parker isn't Spider-Man, Peter Parker-centric, Platonic Cuddling, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Spider Bite Peter Parker, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sick Peter, Sick Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Young Peter Parker, chapter five is probably my least favorite chapter i've wrote of anything ever but here you go, how do you write?? thor?? how do you write in general?? big yikes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-09-05 21:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtraEdgyOtter/pseuds/ExtraEdgyOtter
Summary: + The 1 Time Penny met Her (god)FatherOR The One where the Mary and Richard Parker were bros with a Mr. Tony Stark and in their absence, their daughter is adopted by a certain Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist.





	1. Natasha

When Natasha had been deployed for the infiltration mission at Stark Industries, she had expected many things. The day she had met the man himself, filled nearly all of them- but one turn of events had been rather unexpected, to say the least.

As the elevator's door veered open, she trailed slowly behind Pepper, taking her opportunity to examine the environment. Two hallways had been greeted her. With her trained ears, she heard the faint emitting noise of music down the supposedly vacant of the two.

She stored that tidbit in her mind for later use, and ventured after the soon-to-be C.E.O down the hall. As the redhead arrived in the room, she was greeted with the ogling gaze of of the billionaire. She tore her gaze towards him, before stalking over towards the other woman.

Tony stared onward, before being bopped in the head by Happy. "Lesson one, never take your eyes off the-" The man cut him off with a swift kick to his safety-padded stomach.

Natasha tore her gaze away from the documents, eyeing the scene, as the strawberry blonde continued to work away on the pages. "What's your name, lady?" "Rushman, Natalie Rushman." "Front and center, come into the church"

She blinked, eyeing the billionaire as him and Pepper bickered. In amusement, Natasha smirked. "It's no problem," She hummed, pushing away the woman's attempt of apologizes on Stark's behalf.

She strides over towards the boxing ring, before sliding beneath the outer ring. She met Stark's gaze, before he downed his drink. He soon had finished, before remarking, "What?" until he turned towards Happy.

"Can you, uh, give her a lesson?" "No problem." And with that the man descended from the ring, sliding under the elastic rails. He trailed over towards Pepper. She vaguely listened to their chatter, vaguely responding to the questions posed to her.

Having her attention drawn towards Stark, she paused as Happy had went to tap her with the boxing glove, before grabbing hold of his fist, before using it to slam him to the ground, her legs holding him in a choke-hold.

"Oh my God!" Pepper cried out. "Happy!" Stark looked taken aback, before he bemusedly remarked "That's what i'm talking about." Before another word could be spoken from the four, Natasha heard an enthused squeal. She blinked, pulling herself off the man, before cocking her head to the side, swinging her view towards the door frame, her brows furrowed in confusion.

There in the hallway's frame, stood the smallest girl. With wild brown curls framing her face, held aside by round, thin-wired glasses, with the rest of her sporadic curls flowed down a little past her shoulders. The girl was dressed in casual clothes, though they clung to her small frame, appearing as if she had been exercising in the colorful t-shirt featuring some sort of pun, and red soccer shorts.

Stark's attention snapped towards the girl immediately, dropping his bottle. "Pen? Jarvis, we have someone over, what about the protocol?" He demanded. "I'm sorry, Sir. Miss Mini-Stark had already been on this floor before Ms. Rushman's arrival."

The girl blinked owlishly with her wide doe-eyes, only amplified by her glasses, before curling in slightly. "Oh..Right, sorry.." She muttered. Stark's eyed flew open, and he shook his head. "It ain't your fault, Pen-pie!" He quickly ushered over towards the girl, kneeling on the ground so he could pull her onto his legs.

He brushed the stray hair from her face. "So, am i to just guess you decided to let yourself up to practice what, gymnastics? Ballet? which one's tomorrow?" His brows furrowed, glancing towards Pepper. "Ballet." She curtly responded.

"Not as bad as practicing gymnastics by yourself, again." Tony had sighed. The girl let out a huff, accompanied by a guilty pout. "I said i'm sorry for that!" "Kiddo, girlie, you're apologizing for breaking your fu-freaking leg. And _then_ not even telling me- and then letting me take you to gymnastics with a _broken leg_!"

The girl smirked mischievously "I know the fuck word-" "That's big people words! You unlock them later in life, kiddo. How about when you, uh..Drive a car. Legally. Then I'll consider." "Tony!" Pepper hissed, as Penny giggled.

Natasha watched on in awe and confusion. Nothing, nothing she has found in any of his files indicated..This. That he had been a father. A good attempt at a father, of all things, too. She pulled herself under the rails of the boxing ring, peering a the girl dumbfounded.

It wasn't until Happy cleared his throat, that the father-daughter pair was pulled from their chattering. The wide-eyed girl blinked, staring at Natasha like a deer in the headlights, before turning her head towards Stark.

Tony cleared his throat, pulling himself up, holding the girl on his hip with a huff, as she clung to his side giggling. "Right. This is my kiddo, Penny. You're to sign wavier stating that her connection with me never gets out to the media, or you're gonna be facing one hell of a lawsuit." 

The girl hid a portion of her face against her father's side, before offering a polite little grin, with an awkward wave.

Natasha felt the content smile pulling at her lips, as she knelt down near the girl. "Well, it's an honor to be one of the few people to meet you. I'm Nat." Penny pulled her face away from her dad's side to face her a tad more properly.

"How did you flip Uncle Happy? Like- that was, so cool, it looked like it hurt, so you better be okay Hap, but like, _wow_ I didn't think it was possible for you to like, do that! How? Where did you learn to fight- You're _so_ pretty, too, wow-" The girl began to ramble, watching herself as she twiddled with a strand of her curled hair.

The redhead noticed Pepper's mouthing words to Tony, presumably implying to stop Penny's word vomit, to which Tony simply shot Pepper a glare, before running his hand through the back of Penny's hair.

Pepper sighed. "Penny, dear, don't you think it's a little rude to ask all these questions?" She chimed in. The girl paused, her gaze snapping upwards towards the strawberry blonde, as she blinked owlishly, before glancing down at her feet. "Sorry, Aunt Pepper." She muttered.

"Don't worry about it sweetie, you're fine." Natasha assured. "You're interested in learning fighting, it seems?" Natasha smirked. Penny turned back towards her, nodding vigorously. She wiggled her way out of her dad's grip, practically jumping on the palms of her feet.

Stark gave her an exasperated look. "Penny-pie! You're already in gymnastics *and* ballet! That should be enough, what with your asthma. Besides, you'd never have time down in the lab." Penny twisted her head towards him, giving him the biggest pair of puppy eyes that Natasha has seen- and that was saying something, considering Clint's children.

The father's mouth gaped, before sighing. "You'll learn plenty of self defense when you're older, Penny-panda Now off with you, it's about time you go video chat that little friend from New York of yours." He huffed, picking her up and spinning her before placing a kiss on her forehead. She giggled, squirming in his grip.

"I lost track of time, okay? Besides, Ned's always late so it's _fine!_ Bye daddy! Bye Aunt Pepper, Uncle Happy. Bye Ms. Nat!" She beamed, wiggling her way out of Stark's hold, before giving him a quick hug and sprinting down the hall.

As soon as the girl was absent from their sight, Tony drew his gaze back towards Nat. "Right, well, looks like today was your lucky day. Shall we get back to it, then?"

Natasha hummed, nodding, her smile faltering back, holding a professional face. "Of course. May i say, it's quite an honor getting to meet your daughter. I see the resemblance." At that, Stark cocked a brow, "Well, that's concerning, considering she's adopted."

Pepper strutted over, shoving the paperwork into Stark's hand. Natasha, mouth agape, cleared her throat. "None the less, it appears you're doing a wonderful job with her. Let's finish this up, I suppose." She plucked a pen from her pocket, handing it towards the man.


	2. Bruce

As Rogers and Tony shared some forced pleasantries by the genius' convertible- of which was undeniably more expensive than probably any place he had ever stayed in- He awaited for Natasha to hand him his bag of possessions. "So, you're really planning on staying with Stark for awhile?" She hummed, eyeing him.

Bruce blinked, as he took hold of his bag. He glanced back towards the billionaire. "At least for a while, i suppose. It'd kinda make me a fool not too, considering his state-of-the-art labs.." He shuffled under the calculating gaze of the trained assassin.

Natasha smirked. "You're in for a surprise. Have fun, Bruce." She pulled open the passenger door to the S.H.I.E.L.D vehicle , as Clint opened the driver's, giving him a nod.

"Bruicebear! Ready to go? Had Jarvis make sure there's a lab all cleared out. Few projects first i think you just might be interested in." Bruce turned back towards the man. He chuckled, nodding along to Tony's antics, before joining the man in the convertible.

* * *

Thus far while working in the out-of-this world lab, Tony and Bruce had, respectfully, managed to down five cups of coffee, and three cups of tea. Two hours into designing a blueprint, Bruce heard the metallic doors to the tower's lab open.

Following the 'clink' of the door, came the screech of a girl. Bruce's head shot up, towards the doorway, where a short girl came a short distressed girl. She bounded straight over to Tony, leaping into his arms. "Pen? How'd you get here- Happy wasn't picking you up till Monday!" He cried, concealing a wince as the girl pressed against his wounds and Arc Reactor.

"You dumby! How are you so, so dumb? The fall- what- Dad! What were you thinking? I had to watch that on _T.V_ Dad! I couldn't- I couldn't even be there in person! You can't- Then you didn't even stay on the phone with me afterwards long enough to yell at you! Are the Asguardian alien guys gone? Why couldn't I just be with you? I- you can't leave me in the dark l-like that! Aunt May wants to kill you! I can't, I thought, I didn't.." The girl choked up, fighting her ongoing panic as she began to huff and puff.

Tony frantically dived into the girl's pocket, pulling out an inhaler. He pressed it to the girl. Bruce looked onto the scene, dumbfounded.

Tony sat down on a chair, holding the girl on his lap. The child, to her credit, had managed to calm, as she pressed her head against the billionaire's chest, listening to the faint hum of the glowing Arc Reactor.

"Penny-pear, there's someone here you should meet." The girl blinked bellow her large, circle framed glasses, her wide, doe eyes blinking owlishly before she glanced around, pausing at Bruce.

Penny blinked, staring at him awestruck. "You're Bruce Banner! I- I actually read a few of your papers! They're so cool! My- My friend, Ned, we were reading articles shared on the website for this school I really, really, really want to go to, yeah? And they talked about your research on gamma radiation and I _had_ to read it!" The girl bounded up to him, practically beaming with excitement as she hopped in place.

The girl paused to take a breath. Tony watched the girl in exasperated fondness, before turning his glance towards Bruce with an amused smirk. Bruce stared at the girl, flabbergasted. His mouth agape as he attempts to process the girl's rambling. "You- _You read my papers?_ And..You understood them?" He stuttered out, staring at the girl in bewilderment.

Glancing off sheepishly, the girl shrugged. "Most of it? I read it with my friend, so me and him bounced off ideas, I guess. I think I got the concept, at least." At that, Tony chuckled, as he watched the two. Bruce stared at the girl with a paled, vacant expression.

"Kiddo, most _collage professors_ don't understand even half of the jazz going on in most of his essays and papers. A portion of people in his same of his own field of work don't, either." Tony smirked, stalking over to ruffle the girl's messy hair.

Bruce blinked away moisture from his eyes, nodding dumbly. Penny gasped, drawing her attention back to him. "You're also the Hulk, right? You- Hulk- saved my dad! It was on T.V, well, a snippets of it, anyway. Idiot people that weren't supposed to be to close, but they did anyway- and- the Hulk saved him! Dad explained it on the phone earlier, that the two of you, are like, different? But I- thank you."

Penny dipped her head sheepishly, before turning back towards her dad. "But, uh, Aunt May is who took me here. She's..Really mad with you. She's attempting to make food down in one of the communal kitchens that Jarvis said was safe." Tony made a face. "Kiddo, with that aunt of your's cooking, then it ain't gonna be safe for much longer. Go make sure she hasn't started a fire yet, then put in an order for some food. How Thai sound?"

The girl hid her giggle behind her red sweater-covered hands. " 'Kay, sounds good to me! I'll go check in on Aunt May!" She twisted around, bounding out the the automatic lab doors. Tony made no effort to hide the fondness he held for the energetic girl.

The two stood in silence for a moment, before Bruce tore his gaze away from the entrance. "She's..You have a daughter? How-.. Wow." He stumbled, glancing at Tony, bewildered. Tony snorted, shaking his head in fond exasperation. "She has that effect on people. Sorry there was no warning, Brucie-bear..I was trying to keep her away from the tower until it was fixed. Should've expected this, what with her aunt." The billionaire sighed, running a hand through his hair, as he sat down on a stool.

Clearing his throat, Bruce managed to compose himself. "She's genius, Tony. You're doing a great job with her. I..My limited experience with kids. Definitely hasn't been anything like _that_" The quiet scientist muttered.

Tony smirked, nodding. "She ain't like anything or anyone else, honestly..I knew her parents. Great people, somehow even better at parenting. I saw Pen the day she was born, but uh, this wasn't really the plan. Some how ended up with the best kid in the world." The inventor shrugged, attempting to focus on a random bit of code on his projecting screen.

Bruce blinked dumbly, before nodding. "You're..Doing real well."Bruce offered, his gaze surveying the man. Tony shrugged halfheartedly. "That's what I've been told."

"Sir, Mrs. Parker is requesting your presence." Jarvis' voice echoed in the room. Tony winced. "Time for me to get yelled at by a scary Italian lady. Wish me luck, Greenbean!" The inventor pulled himself off his stool, striding out the lab doors.

As silence swept over Bruce, he ran a hand through his hair, blinking owlishly as he stared out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who knows nearly nothing about Asthma because somehow it's not on their long list of problems?? YeP ME  
anyway guys, seriously how the hell do you end chapters?? i literally have so many shitty fics on old accounts scattered across the web, and i fucking love english how?? do i finish a chapter help. Anyway agh, i wish i could've had Penny fangirling more but she's uhh,, 11-12?? Right now so oops.  
(Please tell me if there's a typo i mixed, just went in to fix a handful i saw- 8/25/19)


	3. Clint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so heads up i'm,, slightly anti-Clint?? Like from what i understand, and what i saw, Clint in the MCU is much much worse than comic!Clint but like,, ayy i'm broke and don't get to read the comics yet, unfortunately. But i tried to make it as unbiased to him as possible!!

When Clint had decided that, as a joke, he'd drop on by one of Stark's labs via vents with plans of a prank, he certainly hadn't anticipated the presence of not only the billionaire philanthropist. But he expected the company of a young preteen even less.

Clint shimmied his way through the air vents.The plan was simple enough; sneak in, throw glitter on any suitable surface, get out. After all, what's truly the greatest disturbance other than glitter? He has a daughter, after all, and he's learned from experience that truly nothing is as as glitter.

Pulling himself through the vent shafts, Clint ventured further, the paths practically branded in his mind from the familiarity of the environment. He grinned, staring down at the vent's hatch in victory.

The archer peered bellow, the lights had been dimmed and the faint humming of the billionaire's complex machines could be heard ringing throughout the futuristic scene.

He couldn't seem to pinpoint the exact location of the noisy piece of machinery- no doubt due to his sudden loss of his deaf ear's hearing aid. Again. Perhaps it had been for that key factor that he couldn't quite hear the pattering of feet from doors.

Before Clint had been able to pop open the vent, the light flickered on below, followed by the distinct voice of Stark- and a discerningly young feminine voice.

"Can't wait for the pizza! Do you think it'll get here before the fabrication finishes? I'm betting before. I think the pizza delivery guys are like, terrified of you. And I don't doubt the power of breaking traffic laws when in fear. You never drove with Aunt May after being called to the principal's office and it _shows_" The young voice babbled on.

"I think she just about, like, crashed the car. Almost. Uncle Ben had to take the wheel- it was after a meeting with Flash's parents. Yeah, _that_ meeting."

"J, progress on the fabrication of the retractable gauntlet?"

"80%, Sir."

"Yeah, kiddo, reasons like that kid Flash is the why i'm making you a mini gauntlet. Fits into a watch like mine. A bit flashier than I would've liked, I mean, really? Red and blue? But it works. It's definitely you."

The young girl gawked. "Dad I'm not shooting Flash with a repulser!" And- if that didn't snap Clint's eyes wide open. Because holy shit, _dad?_

"It's only gonna be set to stun! Unless it's a deadly situation, which I trust Jarvis to be educated enough to know if it's a worthy scenario. Life or death."

The pair continued to babble on, and Clint had managed to tune most of it out, as he gawked down at the small view from the ventilation system, his mouth agape as he attempted to think in coherent sentences because _holy shit_ Tony Stark is a dad?

Of course, Clint himself isn't foreign to hiding some of the largest aspects of his own lively hood- but there's a hell of a difference between a top secret spy hidden from the few of the public hiding his own family, tucked safely within a farm house in the middle of no-where. and a billionaire playboy with the tendency of adding flare and extravagance into all his actions, all while being watched and judged at ever waking moment.

So, needless to say that while Clint's thoughts ran a thousand miles per second, his words failed him- that was, of course, before the vent's hatch gave way and he came tumbling down.

The archer clasped onto the floor with a thud, the room's two occupants having quite physically leaping back. Stark's hand outreached, attempting to obscure Clint's view of the girl. His dominate hand having already formed a repulser gauntlet, aiming at the figure.

Clint quickly forced himself up, throwing his hands up in surrender. Stark's hand dropped to his side. "Barton!? Clint what the fu-uh-reak-" Tony paused, his gaze momentarily flickering to his daughter, who c"-are you doing here?!"

Tony gave a pointed glare to at the agent. "This." Clint deadpanned, before tossing a handful of glitter forward, falling anticlimactically by the foot of the other man.

Giggling, the girl hid her face behind her hands in an attempt to muffle amusement. Stark sighed melodramatically turning back to the girl. "Glad _someone's_ getting any sort of amusement out of this." He said pointedly, with a playful smirk on his lips.

She gawked. "You're smirking too, dad! I just was part of a failed glitterbomb attempt from Hawkeye. I'm so telling Ned about this later! I-" The girl paused her blabbering when she caught the archer's amused gaze. She dipped her head back sheepishly.

Clearing his throat, Stark stepped forward. "So, top notch spying there, Legolas. Found out about my secret child while attempting to _glitterbomb_ me, of all things." He snarked, rolling his eyes. "Penny, meet the bird brain." 

The girl glanced back up, stumbling forward. "It's, um, an honor to meet you, Mr. Hawkeye- Barton- Sir.. Uh. I'm Penny! Penny Parker-Stark." She sheepishly offered a petite smile, as she shifted her weight on her feet.

"Aunt Nat told me a lotta funny stories about you!" She added, beaming, before pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

Clint smirked in amusement. How many secret nieces and nephews must Nat have by now? "Did she now? She always finds the greatest ways to call me stupid. She's really out here hurting my rep, huh?"

Giggling, Penny twiddled her hands. "No..! Aunt Nat would never." She cheekily commented. Stark snorted. "There's a reason you aren't getting anymore explosive arrows for a while. That watermelon thing? Really?"

"That was one time! Really, Stark?" Clint scoffed, eyeing towards the man. Stark rolled his eyes, before turning towards Penny, his gaze softening.

"Happy's taking you to your aunt and uncle's in only two hours, kiddo. Why don't you go check and make sure you got all you need in your bag? I'll bring up your watch and we can tweak it over a bit of a snack. God knows it'd be cruel to send you there without some food first, remind me to invest in some cooking classes for May, will you?"

Penny snorted, shoving him. "Aunt May takes offense to that!" "Yeah, well my tastebuds take offense to her. See you upstairs, Panda." Stark ruffled her messy curled hair, before giving her a playful push. 

She grinned, twisting around, sprinting off towards the exit, before stumbling over her own foot, barely managing to catch herself. "I'm okay!" She called out, before continuing down the to the doorway.

Stark turned back towards him, clapping his hands together. "Alright! Out you go, Hawkass. And stop with the vents, will you? You're gonna burst a hole in them one of these days." He grumbled, before turning towards a station where colorful watch was being fabricated in a complex machine.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Never gonna happen. See'ya 'round, Stark. She seems like a real sweet girl. Can't believe 'Tasha found out before me.." He huffed, before turning to a vacant table, and using it to bound back up to the venting system.

* * *

Natasha sat in her room, her legs tucked beneath herself lazily as she flicked through the page of her book. She went unphased as the man dropped from the vents above her. "Hey, Birdbrain. What you do now?" She drew her gaze from her pages, a brow inclined in interest.

"Why didn't you tell me Stark has a daughter?! And- which stories did you tell her about me? No, wait- I'm scared to ask."

An amused glint shimmered in her dark green eyes. "So you found out about Penny, huh? How that happen?" "Fell through the vents, right into the lab. I was planning in glitterbombing his lab." 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Amateur. I'm fairly sure Pen did that to him once, a while back- He somehow managed to talk himself out of letting her keep a box of kittens she found. It was some payback, I suppose."

"Wait- That's why he had glitter in his hair for like, a week a year back? What the hell!" The corner of Natasha's lip quirked up. "She's a wonderful girl." "I don't know where she gets it from, then. Who's her mom? She mentioned something about her last name being Parker. Parker-Stark."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You're a little harsh on Tony, sometimes. But she's adopted. From what I understand, the Parkers were good friends with Tony. He was Pen's godfather. She's been with him since she was about three, I believe."

"..Oh."

" 'Oh' Indeed. But she's an absolute genius. Looks like I'm Auntie Nat to three, now. It's time you and Laura get to getting me another niece or nephew, don't you think?"

Clint choked on the air, before exasperatingly shouting out "Nat!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo so i promise i wanna update this as much as possible, but school is a little bitch?? And i was SO unmotivated to write this. Next chapter is Steve and i have some ideas for that. But the inner Team Ironman in me is sobbing about having to write Steve as a decent person. This chapter takes place about two years before Ultron, so Penny is 12/13. The next chapter will be like 2 months before the events of Winter Solider.  
Anyway, tell me if there's a typo somewhere i can fix! And i live solely on kudos and comments so?? pls consider commenting especially. For every comment i get i almost immediately run to my document to continue working on this because y'all give me m o t i v a t i o n


	4. Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all so this is just a tiny bit Steve unfriendly?? I promised I didn't try it just kinda happened?? I started writing this the moment i posted the last one. Oops. If you're a Cap stan it should be fine I just,, there's reasons. Besides, Pen wouldn't really agree to fight him in Civil War if he was a super great fun Uncle.  
And,, i made up for it by making it like double almost triple the length of most.

Somehow, within the last two weeks, the Avengers had managed to see Stark out of his lab or penthouse floor, _maybe _three times. For whatever reason, Bruce was the only one allowed in the labs or Penthouse, it seemed. Though it appeared that, from Natasha's knowing smirk, she might have some sort of pass as well.

Either way, it was odd behavior. It was the middle of February- Incidents requiring Avengers assistance have been fairly low, there's been thousands of pieces of fanmail coming in, and it's not totally freezing anymore! What could Stark possibly be so busy with?

As he wondered into the common room pacing, he was met by the greeting from Clint and a short wave from Natasha, who was buried in a book.

"Uh-oh, looks like someone's got their brain working. That's never a good thing, ever." Clint remarked, draping himself over the back of the couch. The redhead lowered her book, eyeing him. "That explains so much about you." She deadpanned.

Clint snorted, tossing her a smirk. "Like you didn't realize it already. Anyway, Cap, what's got those gears turning?"The archer turned back towards him.

"When was the last time we've seen Stark? Is he and Banner working on something? They'd usually mention something about it, if it's taking this long." He hesitantly voiced his concern, glancing between the two spies.

Natasha sighed, setting her book aside with a small homemade bookmark, no doubt from the endless stream of fanmail. "It's nothing to worry about on your part. Tony has it all figured out." She met his gaze as she stated her opinion, in a tone of finality.

The spy's attempt of shutting down his thoughts only powered him more- What could Stark possibly be doing that Natasha, of all people, support him in keeping?

Secrets only destroy teams. If it's something that only those two- or maybe Bruce- knows, and they're keeping it from the team, what trouble could it be causing? After all, Stark and Banner are considered to be some of the smartest men in the world, and Natasha perhaps the most dangerous woman. Whatever secret they're working on keeping together, could not be pretty. But perhaps this is just him overthinking things. 

"Do..You know what he's working on?" The blonde blinked. Natasha simply took a breath, before pulling herself to her feet. "I'm not talking about this, Cap. Leave it be." With that, the vibrant redhead took her leave, striding to the elevator. The captain notably hears the AI commanding the elevator to the penthouse floor, and he feels more confused than when she had left.

Clint flopped back down on the cushions. "Just don't stress about it, Steve. You most certainly aren't gonna figure it out from Nat." The archer shrugged, before rolling to the side, grabbing the television remote.

Steve sighed, turning towards the communal kitchen. He pulled open the fridge, which to some miracle Stark had managed to keep nearly always fully stocked.

While he attempted to find something to make for lunch, he heard the quiet 'ding' from the elevator, and turned to view who had joined the pair on the floor. To his surprise, it had been Banner who skittishly made his way out.

"Hey, sup Doc?" Clint gave a lazy wave to the scientist. "Nice of you to join us." Bruce blinked, before shrugging. "It's been busy." Was all he offered, before making his way towards the kitchen.

Bruce pulled open a cabinet filled with various tea cups and mugs. Some bought, some from merchandising (people would buy Avengers _anything_) and most of which from fanmail. 

"So, Bruce, what exactly are you and Stark working on..?" He turned towards the scientist, eyeing the man skeptically. The doctor blinked, turning towards Steve. "Uh, nothing in particular. Testing some theories from old researches, seeing if they still hold up.."

Steve's brow furrowed. "And that's taking two weeks? I've seen Tony maybe one this week." Bruce made a non-committal noise, avoiding the captain's gaze as he went on with fixing up supplies for tea.

Growing frustrated, Steve took his leave. He made his way into the elevator. God, he'd never get over how Stark designed this tower. It was unnerving having to just speak to a disembodied voice simply to go floor to floor. "Take me to where Stark is."

The A.I took a moment. "I'm afraid you're not permitted in his location, Captain Rogers." "Oh, come on..Take me to where Tony is! I'm worried for him. He's gonna work himself to death if he keeps this up."

"It'd be breaking several of my protocols, Captain Rogers. Would you like out now?" Steve clenched his fists impatiently, before letting out a breath. "Just take me down to his lab."

"Very well, Captain Rogers."

Steve blinked in surprised, fully expecting the request to have been denied. If Stark's not in the lab, where is he? But none the less, he waited as the elevator descended the floors.

As the doors pulled open, the super soldier examined the work area. Which lab had he been taken to? How many personal labs must Stark even have? But- If the lived-in state the room is in is any indicator, then, perhaps he managed by some miracle to actually be sent to the right lab.

And so, Steve waited. Examining the space around him, he couldn't help but incline an eyebrow at the sight of a worn couch, with two plush blankets layered on top. Then again, Stark would go on building binges for days if able, he supposed.

Not long after, the super solider had heard the chattering of Stark echo down the hallway on the opposite side of the spacious room, past a glass door.

"I know Pep, I know. I'll show up to a meeting or something before Wednesday. Because, she's sick! Brucie-bear doesn't know what to do. And who knows when Nat might be called out. Yeah, no- not even considering him an option." Steve had heard the man babble on the phone

"Because, Pep-" Tony froze as he spotted the solider, before letting out an exasperated moan. "Something came up. Bye, Pep- Yes I'll try for the meeting on Wednesday! Buh-bye now." The man pulled the phone away, before snapping his gaze towards him. Jarvis swung the door open for him, before he went storming in.

"Cap, why the hell are you in my lab? What- Jarvis! Why did you let him down here?" "Sir, there is no code in place preventing Captain Rogers from entering this level of the labs." "Yeah, well we'll see about that.." Stark muttered.

Steve shook his head. "Tony! I'm worried about you. What's been going on? You missed the last two teambonding nights. I've hardly seen you at all." He pressed, watching as the engineer strides across the room, tapping some holographic screens as he went.

"Nice sentiment. I appreciate it, Capsicle. Just a little busy here." He snarked as he started typing on some complex workstation/computer which looked to the Captain to be from several lifetimes away from anything else he's seen, even in this modern century.

The super solider scowled. "What could you be busy with? Sounds like you haven't been going to meetings. Who's sick?"

Stark's lips narrowed into a line, his brows creased. "None of your business. Leave me be, will you?" 

The Captain shook his head, persisting as he stepped forward. "I feel like I deserve to know what's wrong here, Tony." 

As the mechanic went to open his mouth, he paused. The echoing of a young feminine voice from down the hall could be heard in the otherwise quiet room. Rogers turned his gaze towards the glass door, where a prepubescent girl had trudged through the glass door.

"Daaaad! I made a mistake, and I feel worse and I _hate_ spring, and, I cut my hair! It seemed like a good idea!" The girl groaned. Stark rushed to her side, pulling the girl into a hug, before pulling her back to expect her. His hand rested on her forehead.

"Pen, how do you feel worse? What's the symptoms? And- Okay, yeah, your Aunt May is gonna kill me. I feel like I just got her in my favor, too. Did your Uncle Rhodey tell you that it took eight years for me to convince her I'm not your secret biological father? Yeah."

The girl giggled, before coughing into her sweater sleeve. "I thought it'd look good.." The girl eventually muttered, with a pout. Stark chuckled, running his hands through her choppily cut, curly hair running down little past her shoulders. 

"And it does, Tulip. I've done a lot worse, let me tell you. If your Uncle Rhodey ever offers to tell you the story of the 94' Halloween party do me a favor and just walk the other way, yeah? I want that story to go with me to the grave."

The captain remained in place, blinking at the scene as he watched on in bewilderment. _When_ did Stark, of all people, become a father? Of the few years of knowing him, the man hardly seemed capable of caring for himself, let alone a _child _he apparently felt the need to adopt.

"Fix it. Please." The girl whined quietly, burying her face in his chest as he chuckled. "When you can go three hours without needing a breathing treatment I'll consider it, Penny-Pear." 

Feeling terribly out of place, Rogers cleared his throat. The wild-haired girl snapped her head up to face him. Wide, doe eyes amplified by her round glasses is what greeted the super-solider. "Wh- Captain America? What?- I'm. I'm meeting Captain America in my pajamas. Oh my God. Ned is gonna faint when i tell him this.."

Sighing, Tony lifted the girl, holding her close before turning towards the captain. "Steve, meet my daughter, Penny. She's an Avengers fangirl, if you haven't noticed." The girl pouted. 

"I'm not- I'm not a _fangirl_!"

"Oh? So, you're not wearing Black Widow pajama pants right now?"

"I- They were a joke from Auntie Nat, okay?!" 

Chuckling, Tony placed the girl down. "Go rest. You're gonna get yourself more sick and get me sick, and it's gonna be a real miserable time for all of us, kiddo."

Penny quietly whined. "But- _Captain America_!" "Pen.." The girl sighed, before glancing towards Steve. "It was an honor to meet you, Mr, er, Captain Rogers- Uh, America- ..Sir." She squeaked out sheepishly, before turning and bounding from the room.

The two watched the girl as she ran from the room, before Steve coughed. "So, you adopted a kid...? You'd think that this'd be, uh, team information. Or S.H.I.E.L.D information. I didn't exactly see anything on her in your files. Before the uh, invasion."

Tony rolled his shoulders, not meeting his gaze. "Not exactly a great topic to just, throw in. Her adoption's kept underwraps. Lawyers, a handful of Child Protection Services workers, her aunt and uncle, Pepper, Happy, Rhodey. And, now, almost all the Avengers." 

Steve blinked, before nodding dumbly. "I'm proud of you, Tony."

The inventor let out a low chuckle. "Pen's the one to be proud of, not me. She's the on dealing with my bullshit. See'ya real soon, Cap. I'll make the next movie night, as long as Hawkass isn't picking."

With that, Tony turned his heel, trailing off over the path of the young girl.

* * *

Sat in a dimmed room, the father-daughter duo sat on the long luxurious sofa, the messy curled haired girl rested her head on the inventor's chest. Old habits die hard, he mused, as his eyes surveyed the girl.

She was definitely growing far, far to fast. One more summer, and she's off to high school.  
_High school. _He was now raising a teenager. And God, that might possibly be the scariest thought he's had since adopting the girl.

Tony sighed, running a hand through his daughter's hair. "I'm suing if you grow taller than me. You need to be able to fit here with me forever, Lovebug." 

The girl tiredly giggled, hiding her face in a plush blanket.

"Who would you sue for that? _Me_?"

"Of course. Emotional distress, and all that. Last I checked I could sue for that. I have some dam-dandy. Dandy lawyers. "

Across the room, a certain red-head assassin quietly chuckled. "Reminder that there's only about a year and a half more years till she can legally start practicing her driving." Natasha smirked, as she strode through the room, placing down a mug of hot cocoa down on the coffee table for the young girl.

Groaning, Tony hid his face in the croak of Penny's neck. "I'm just gonna wrap Pen up in bubble wrap. No driving, no cussing, no nothing." The man dramatically declared.

Penny huffed, slouching her shoulders together. "I'm not some kid anymore, Dad! I'm almost in high school. _High school_. And, we live in New York. I promise you, Dad, nothing you could say is worse than what I hear on the subway."

"Thanks, Aunt Nat." Penny chirped as she reached forward for the warm mug.

Natasha hid a bemused smirk behind her own mug of coffee, before plopping on the other end of the couch.

"Pen, that just makes me wanting you to take the subway less. And before you drink up, you should go do your breathing treatment."

"But _Dad_!"

"Nuh-uh. Gotta get whatever flu you got out. No offense Penny-Pear but your coughing isn't getting much better. I'm thinking you might have some sorta throat infection."

The girl groaned, flopping back down, wedging herself between her dad and the couch's backing. Tony chuckled, watching the girl fondly.

Raising from her seat, Natasha swung her legs off the couch. "I'll just bring her breathing machine in here. I don't think she's willing to budge anytime soon." The red-head volunteered. Tony sent her an appreciative nod. "Thanks, Tasha."

He watched as the red-head fled from the room, before quietly sighing. "C'mon Pen. I don't need you getting a coughing fit again."

Silently the girl huffed, drawing her face out from hiding. She picked at small string on the hem of her baggy red Avengers shirt.

"Dad Why..Were you being rude to uh, Mr. Captain America? Captain America. Um- It sounded like you were using your..Media or press conference voice." 

Tony looked taken aback, blinking bewildered at the girl. Of course, being one of the few people Tony Stark himself trusted could tell between himself and the persona he offers the cruel eyes of the media. That fact did little to stop his shock at Penny, of all people, to be the one to call him out on it's use.

Fighting for words, Tony fought a internal battle with himself, as he attempted to settle for words. He quietly sighed, before tipping the girls head to face him. "I trust Rogers- I. I trust Steve. And the rest of the Avengers, but I just..You know what I never really connected with Howard- My own dad, right? It makes it..Complicated. Complicated with Steve, especially."

The young girl blinked, slowly nodding her head, as she awaited for him to elaborate.

"Yeah. Growing up, Captain America was the standards my dad had for me. God knows why, but he was who I was compared to. He was who I was not. I just..I'm not ready for that loop to continue, of that comparison. Because Pen? Your dad's not Captain America."

"No, my dad's Tony Stark. Dad. You're Iron Man. You're you. You're the one who's my hero, Dad. Not Captain America. You didn't get some advanced abilities by agreeing to human experimentation. You struggled, and you fought, and you made yourself a super hero. Without supplies, or money, or anything. Just you and your knowledge, you made your first suit. Dad. That's you, that's all you. Iron Man isn't my hero, you are."

So if Tony teared up a little, then, well, that's just a little Stark family secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! It is done fINALLY okay!! Next up is Thor and soon,, it is time for a flashback to Pen and Tony and god am i so ready for that. Please comment i thrive for comments and that's my sole motivation for this shit so PLEASE COMMENT  
And please tell me if there's a typo or anything so i don't make a fool of myself, thanks-


	5. Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science baby meets Thor (+ two guests)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh i'm alive?? HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAPPY NEW YEARS, and anything else I missed. Life is a blur. Robotics started. I have a new best friend. I've started anti-depressants, started trying to catch up on some shows, and so on.
> 
> I fell down several other headcanon aus. But Penny is still my g i r l and i don't know why i just. I want to write female Peter content- I've decided that to differentiate which verse of mine is which (since I have uhh,, several other female!peter verses coming out because i'm pathetic) each verse will have a different name for female Peter; next up in my never ending list of WIP projects is,,Piper. Piper is. Oh my god. So many alternate universes, and headcanons, and just- she's just an angry girl who got her powers way to young and just- one more word on it. Devildad. so that's a thing happening- that being said I plan on continuing this verse because I still have several other ideas for our girl, Penny

Since Thor's rocky beginning with his time on Midgard, the thing that stayed consistent had been the eccentrics of it all. His time spent with the Avengers are never any different.

After Jane Foster's less than enthusiastic response to Thor's frequent absence, Thor had made it a point to attempt to check in on her, and the Avengers team, more frequently. 

Somewhere along the way, this manages to lead to Thor dropping in on a spring afternoon to The Avengers Tower, with both Jane and Darcy in tow.

Tony had been sat in his lab, the speakers blasting AC/DC to cover the hums and clicks from machinery.  
The brunette girl sat on a table behind him, typing rapidly streams of code. Her hand bunched a clump of her wavy, curled locks in her hand in frustration.

"How did you make Dum-E and Jarvis in collage? You were hardly any older than me! And with like, much worse technology. Making an A.I really shouldn't be this hard. I have your notes from making them, and everything!" The older Stark shook his head fondly, glancing back towards his daughter's process. "Jarvis, lower the volume." He swung his chair around, pulling his safety glasses off, (Pepper's voice rung through his head- "Set a good example for your daughter, Tony!") as he peered over at the girl's work.

"Well, Princess, Dum-E isn't exactly as high-tech as a full-fledged A.I like Jarvis is, making him was plenty easy. I made Dum-E when I was near your age. I made Jarvis when I was 21. Bit of a difference in age there, don't you think?"

The girl gasped, pointing to the Dum-E, "Don't insult Dum-E like that! Look at him. He's devastated." She pointed to the robot, as he spun backwards, his claw hung low as he made a series of mournful beeping. Rolling closer to the pair, the robot pitifully poked at the his creator's side. Tony sighed in defeat, shaking his head.  
"You're right, how dare I disrespect my first-born!" Penny's mouth gaped, as she began stumbling over words. 

"What? That's not how this works- he wasn't even born!"

"_Now _ who's trying to hurt his feelings?"

"Sir, if I may interrupt you and Mini-Stark," Jarvis' voice rang across the room, the music coming to a halt. "Mr. Odinson has just arrived at the Bifrost pad, with two guests accompanying him."

"Wha- Odinson? As in- As in Thor! Is Thor here? Oh God..!" Penny stammered, before her eyes widened and she went tumbling down with her chair with a yelp.

Tony's lip quirked upwards as he watched his daughter's antics, before pulling her back to her feet. His nose wrinkled, "I'm building a time machine if you keep growing. You're getting stupidly close to my height, kid." He grumbled. She beamed, before sticking out her tongue. "I live to spite you!" She proclaimed, adjusting her round-framed glasses. He smirked, ruffling her messy hair. "Yeah, okay, good luck with that, Kiddo."

"Dad!" She squeaked, swiftly attempting to pat it down. "I wanna meet Thor, Dad! Please! He's a literal god. An actual living, breathing, god. And all the other Avengers know about me! What's one more person to add to the list?" 

"Penny-"

"And he's like, not even a person, technically speaking! He's an alien! Who is he gonna tell, really?"

"Yeah, Penny-"

"Please! He's my favorite, after you-"

"Penny! Yeah, no more of that. I love hearing the ramblings from your brilliant mind, Kid, but don't make a habit of cutting me off, please. Especially not when i'm agreeing with you."

The doe-eyed girl blinked in bewilderment, staring flabbergasted at him.

"Don't act to shocked, kid. Jeez. Last I checked, I was the fun parent." He huffed. "But, as I was saying, I'd like for you to meet Thor, but not now- don't pout! He brought guests with him."

"Sir, if I may. The two accompanying Mr. Odinson is Dr. Jane Foster and Ms. Darcy Lewis."

Penny squealed, hopping on the balls of her feet. "Dad! C'mon! I read a buncha Dr. Foster's studies, and I've been reading her research papers on the Bifrost and- Ms. Lewis' Twitter is like, _so_ funny literally everyone at school followers her!"

The girl stared at him, wide-eyed. "Please! C'mon, Dad!" She pouted. Tony sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat before rubbing his temple. "Fine, but you're the one explaining to your aunt and uncle that I've revealed you to more people." 

She pumped her fist in the air in excitement. "Sweet! This is so awesome. I'm literally about to meet a god!" 

"Jarvis, tell Thor and his guests to go to the communal space. Send the message to the others, too."

"Of course, Sir."

Tony gave a lazy half-grin. "Alright then, Panda.. Let's go, time for you to meet a god." And damn, if the elation on her face wasn't awarding. He grabbed his red tinted glasses from the workshop's table, and trailed after the excitable girl.

Thor watched as the pair of girls glanced about the grand, vast tower. "Jesus! Look at this place! It's so much bigger in person!" Darcy had exclaimed. "Are we gonna meet the Avengers? Holy shit! Jane- we're gonna _meet the Avengers!_" She cackled.  
Jane ran a hand down her face in fond exasperation. "Darce, yeah, we are, and Stark probably as cameras at here and he's gonna show the others how much of a fangirl you are- you're embarrassing me!"

Chuckling, Thor shook his head. in dismissal. "I'm sure Friend Anthony would never! Earth's Mightiest Defenders are surely above that!"  
Shortly after, the glass door slid open. "Terribly sorry about the delay, Mr. Odinson and guests. Sir has requested for you to meet him and the others on the communal floor." The disembodied A.I's voice rung. To the left, an elevator door had opened.

"Holy shit! What was that?" Darcy gaped, glancing about. "I believe Friend Anthony had said he was some computer, of sorts."

"That is close, Mr. Odinson. Ms. Lewis, Dr. Foster, I am Jarvis; Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. I am Sir's personal A.I. I'm sure Sir may answer and further questions you may have. Please, enter the elevator located at your left."  
And so, the trio entered the sleekly designed elevator, the glass backing giving an awe-inspiring view to the riders. The elevator door soon slid open, revealing a spacious communal area. To the right of the elevator, several gaming systems had been laid upon an entertainment stand beneath a wall-mounted flat screen T.V, a large sectional couch along with three recliners to the side of the sofa pointed towards it. Several feet away from the seating, was a dining table. To the left of the dining table, was a breakfast bar separating the dining area from the communal room's kitchen.

Clint had been sprawled out on his back, laid on the sectional sofa, with a wii remote in hand.

Steve had been sat on the opposite end of the couch, with a remote as well as he watched the screen in confusion. Clint had been calling out instructions and tips, which the super solider had been attempting to make sense of.

Natasha was sat on the nearest recliner, watching on in amusement. She turned towards the the god, nodding in greeting.

Clint had been the next to acknowledge them, his eyes darting towards them. "Oh shit- Hey! Thor. Thor's guests." He propped himself up on the sofa, pausing the game.

"Hello Friends! Where might Friend Anthony and Banner be?" 

"Holy shit I'm in the fucking Avengers Tower. What the fuck- Jane we're in the fucking Avengers Tower. When was this our life? What the _fuck_\- We're literally in the same room as super spies and Captain-fucking-America-" Darcy gushed, glancing about.

Jane hissed, "Darcy!"

Steve chuckled awkwardly, sitting up from the sofa. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, please, just call me Steve." 

"You- wow. Awesome. First name basis with Captain America- Can I take a picture with you? For my Twitter? I'm Darcy Lewis. By the way,"

Jane trailed behind the eccentric girl. "I'm Jane Foster, uh, Steve. It's an honor- Sorry about Darcy.." She chuckled.

Thor beamed contently, turning his head back towards the elevator. Tony came strolling out, and behind him, a small girl came bursting from the lift.

"Pointbreak, pleasure to see you around here again. Hey, maybe throw a heads up next time you spontaneously bring guests? Thanks. Oh, yeah, that's my daughter by the way."

Natasha lowered her book, peering over at Tony, "Giving up on the whole subtlety thing there, Stark?"

Tony simply shrugged, baring a half smirk as he watched his daughter excitedly bound towards the god.

"Uh, hi, Mr. Thor, sir! It's like- a huge, _huge_ honor to meet you! I'm Penny." The girl was literally bouncing in her spot, her short hair pulled back into small messy ponytail.

Thor blinked in bewilderment, his eyes blown wide, before turning to Stark, "Great Odin's beard! Congratulations, Friend Anthony! I was unaware Misguardian children grew at such a rate!"

"Thor, no-" Jane's voice could be heard.

"Uh, yeah, not quite, Point Break. We weren't quite..Telling people, about Penny, for her safety. She insisted on meeting you, since the others managed to accidentally find her."

"I always wanted to meet you, Mr. Thor! I, uh, hacked into some security cameras, here and there, during some of the..Avengers Assemblies, and have been hearing some of your stories from Dad, and it's just, an honor!" She gushed her pink flushed in embarrassment.

Thor boomed with laughter, a fond smile beaming. "It's an honor to meet you as well, Lady Penelope! I am sure you shall grow into a cunning fighter, much like your father!" He praised.

Penny's smile was plastered across her face, as she tucked stray pieces of hair behind her ear, dipping her head in embarrassment at the praise. "Thank you, Mr. Thor! This is just- wow, I'm just thrilled to meet you! I'm sorry- Just a bit in awe!" She'd continue, fidgeting in place.

Tony chuckled quietly from the sidelines, shaking his head in exasperated fondness. "Alright, Kiddo, don't inflate his ego to much." Tony'd remark.  
Natasha lifted a brow, eyeing towards him. "Yeah, would be such a shame if she'd boost his ego higher than she boosted yours." She'd comment, a wolfish smirk edging at her lips.

Stark'd dramatically gasp, grabbing onto his chest. "Me? An ego? Only never! Smartest man in the world, super hero, billionaire, incredible dad- What could I, of all people, possibly have an ego for? Penny, do you hear this woman slandering me?" Tony'd turned towards his daughter, gesturing towards the agent

The young girl swung her head towards her dad. "You're probably the most modest person I know." She nodded her head sagely, a well-practiced poker face worn across her face.

"You see? This is why you're my favorite daughter." Tony'd declared, as he flung an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm your only daughter, I hope." Penny would deadpan, tilting her head as she eyed towards him playfully.

He'd wave her off with his other hand. "Details, details." He remarked, ruffling her hair. She squawked, ducking out under his arm. "I'm in front of a god, one of the most well known female leading scientists in Astronomy , and a social media sensation, now is not the time for me to hear more about your playboy days-"

"Who told her about my playboy days? She's to young, Clint, I'm looking at you, you are one hell of a gossiper-"

"Dad," She interrupted his rambles. "I'm 14. High school's starting in a month- and, if Clint isn't a giant gossip, school is." She rolled her eyes, her posture slouched as a pout adorned her features- as prevalent and puppy-like, even in her teen years.

"Well!" Tony quickly rushed, switching topics. "Dr. Foster, Ms. Lewis, what a pleasure. Interesting work thus far, Dr. Foster. your observations of the astronomical anomalies following dear old Pointbreak joining us mortals. Astronomy certainly seems to be far more interesting with such events." He'd remark, wearing his classic Stark grin. It was then that Penny came bounding over, beaming as she politely dipped her head. Her face was flushed pink in a fluster.

"I read some of your studies, Dr. Foster, Ma'am! It was super interesting- and I'm not even all that into astronomy! The sky and weather can look pretty, and all, but- chemistry is so _cool_\- still, it was just so interesting, reading what you had investigated.." She'd spew out her words, fidgeting with her feet, the acknowledgement that not only was there a God in the same room as her, but she was speaking to the a prominent leading figure in STEM, who was also one of the largest women figures in engineering- AND who also happens to be dating a god was- overwhelming.

Penny then took a deep breath, glancing towards Darcy. "And I LOVE your Twitter! Your posts are so funny and just super relateable and great- my entire school follows you! I have the photo you posted of Thor eating poptarts tapped to my notebook!" She'd beam. 

Darcy's eyes widened at the recognition, before beaming. "You are the sweetest- Jane, can we keep her? Pleeease?" Darcy would pout, drawing the girl into a hug as she giggled. "Would that mean I could have co-custody of your Twitter account?" She'd ask innocently.

Jane, who was mortified, had already been cut off by the undignified playful squeal emitting from Darcy "Betrayal! No, nuh-uh. My Twitter account is my cling to fame, man." Darcy'd huff melodramatically.

Tony'd roll his eyes from the side of the scene. "I'll add you to the list of 'people trying to steal my kid' for future reference. Now give me my protege back." He'd sigh in defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd most certainly need some Ibuprofen after Thor's visit, as he does with most extravagant weekends with the God of Thunder.

The small girl'd slither out from under Darcy's grasp, before bouncing onto her feet and smoothing her clothes. Penny'd then bound to Tony like an eager puppy. "No one is gonna try to steal me, Dad! Well- no one in this room."

"Fine. Correction, then; 'list of people trying to adopt my kid'. Does that satisfy you?" He'd remark dryly, peering down at his daughter.

She'd giggle, covering his mouth with her sleeve. "Bit closer, I suppose. " She'd subside, dipping her head, before turning back to the clutter of Avengers and astrologists. "We should play MarioKart! I need to be able to say I played against a literal God. That's, like, bucketlist material, right there."

And, oh boy, if teaching a figure from Norse mythology what a Wii is and how to play MarioKart didn't qualify as a horror comedy, then, Tony wasn't quite sure what would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up..Tony flashback.
> 
> (please consider commenting, communication fuels me. And,, please tell me if there's typos or anything I wrote this over like four months and hardly reread it at all)

**Author's Note:**

> Impulse control? Knowing how to end a chapter properly? Who's she, never heard of her! Uh, really i'm only posting this so i force my self to finish it. Chapter 2's in the work, featuring Brucie-bear!!  
By the way, that "breaking leg before gymnastics" is based off a true story! My brother was in gymnastics for god knows how many years, before i was born and after. He used to do flips off the couches whenever my mom was on the phone and couldn't make him stop, but he ended up falling off and i think either fractured or broke his ankle, but he *told my mom* and she made him still go to gymnastics as punishment. and she made him still go to gymnastics as punishment. Anyway it's 3am so i'll uhh fix typos,, someday i guess


End file.
